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The Biniki – a bra for your butt

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April 29, 2008

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April 30, 2008 Heightening the ever-increasing pressures to conform to someone else’s ideals is this new invention known as the Biniki – put simply, it’s a bra for your butt. The patented Biniki is a US$30 series of straps you wear around the waist and under your bum cheeks to shape, tone, lift and support your derriere and the effect is significant and instant. There’s also a US$40 version for men (the Maniki) and a Throng, a US$30 device worn to achieve the same underwear-less look as a thong without having to floss in all the wrong places.

Looking at the pics and video, we’d have to agree that a biniki-toned and lifted derriere certainly looks better, and we even suspect that sales of this new invention might well take off as it appeals to that well-known weak link in the human psyche, vanity.

Biniki is comfortable, invisible under most clothing, emphasizes smaller derrieres, provides needed support for those with more in back, stays in place with all movement and raises the rear as much as an inch on many people! The basic structure of Biniki is a waist/hip band with two strategically placed adjustable leg loops that encircle the buttocks.

We do not wish to engage in all the puns a crack journalist might make about this device, but if you want a giggle, Biniki has all its press clippings on the product site and some of them are quite funny. The company is seeking distributors, so if you already have a distribution channel for lingerie or fashion accessories in your country, we figure this is a good time to get in on the ground floor because to paraphrase one of our all-time favorite entrepreneurs, (P.T. Barnum), “No one ever lost money under estimating the vanity of the public.”

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About the Author
Mike Hanlon Mike grew up thinking he would become a mathematician, accidentally started motorcycle racing, got a job writing road tests for a motorcycle magazine while at university, and became a writer. As a travelling photojournalist during his early career, his work was published in a dozen languages across 20+ countries. He went on to edit or manage over 50 print publications, with target audiences ranging from pensioners to plumbers, many different sports, many car and motorcycle magazines, with many more in the fields of communication - narrow subject magazines on topics such as advertising, marketing, visual communications, design, presentation and direct marketing. Then came the internet and Mike managed internet projects for Australia's largest multimedia company, Telstra.com.au (Australia's largest Telco), Seek.com.au (Australia's largest employment site), top100.com.au, hitwise.com, and a dozen other internet start-ups before founding Gizmag in 2002. Now he writes and thinks. All articles by Mike Hanlon
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7 Comments

Youse confuse. The Barnam quote would be, "No one ever lost money over-estimating the vanity of the public."

Brian H

hasnt this already been invented? i could of sworn i saw it in some movie with a stripper/prostitute where they had straps on their butt like that.

Yury Sidorov

Yuck! Just too much, G strings are too close to one's own butt hole anyway. Just go 'Birthday suit and get over it:) Didn't women use to actually ware 'Underpants' that covered their bum?

Paul Perkins

Do they do one with D-rings so I can wear a pair when I go up the climbing wall at my local leisure centre?

Aloysius Bear

Surely, 'Bumiki' would be a more apt name?

Nik

Do they come in 3X size for me? I need one for the front too!

Kevin Ritchey

Seriously???? ROTFLMAO

kidsandliz
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