The iPhone app store ranges from the... Kinda useful to the utterly ridiculous - and here's an extreme example of the latter. The Passion application rates your sexual performance based on duration, power (as measured by the iPhone's built-in accelerometer) and loudness of orgasm, giving you a score out of 10 for your efforts. You can then compare "high scores" with other couples (or singles) around the world. That's right kids, to be the world's best lover, simply bang away like a jackhammer for 45 minutes, bellowing like a babboon. The ladies looooove that.

Turn the Passion app on, stick it on the bed, explain to your partner that you're looking for an empirical ranking of your boudoir skills, and go to town - if they're still interested. You'll get a score out of ten. And all this for only USD$4.99!

I scored a measly 2.3 - but in my defense, I was alone at the time.