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iPhone Passion app rates your sexual skills

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July 28, 2009

2.3? But I was being TENDER! Tender, I tells ya!

2.3? But I was being TENDER! Tender, I tells ya!

The iPhone app store ranges from the... Kinda useful to the utterly ridiculous - and here's an extreme example of the latter. The Passion application rates your sexual performance based on duration, power (as measured by the iPhone's built-in accelerometer) and loudness of orgasm, giving you a score out of 10 for your efforts. You can then compare "high scores" with other couples (or singles) around the world. That's right kids, to be the world's best lover, simply bang away like a jackhammer for 45 minutes, bellowing like a babboon. The ladies looooove that.

Turn the Passion app on, stick it on the bed, explain to your partner that you're looking for an empirical ranking of your boudoir skills, and go to town - if they're still interested. You'll get a score out of ten. And all this for only USD$4.99!

I scored a measly 2.3 - but in my defense, I was alone at the time.

About the Author
Loz Blain Loz loves motorcycles - at the age of two, he told his mother "don't want brother, want mogabike." It was the biker connection that first brought Loz to Gizmag, but since then he's covered everything from alternative energy and weapons to medicine, marital aids - and of course, motorcycles. Loz also produces a number of video pieces for Gizmag, including his beloved bike reviews. He frequently disappears for weeks at a time to go touring with his vocal band Suade.   All articles by Loz Blain
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